UPDATE

i've been focusing so much of my down time on educating myself for my blog (http://diabeticstump.blogspot.com/). There is so much information out there, some good some bad, but this is what i should have been doing long before having my leg amputated. But this is where i am at today, hopefully i can help myself, and others, to a healthier tomorrow. ... ... ... 

The wound is slowly healing, but not enough to be able to be fitted for a new leg just yet. i'm trying to remain positive and hopeful, but it's getting harder very day. i want/need to go outside and experience life. To celebrate autumn. Looking at photo's on Instagram inspires me, but depresses me at the same time. ... ... ... 

My recent doctors visit showed that i have lost 8 pounds in two weeks. i guess that is good considering i am limited to exercising from the sofa. My blood sugars are good, sometimes too low because it is so difficult for me to cook for myself when Devon Yan is away. In about a week, he'll be gone for a week to attend two fashion shows in Portland. i'm nervous, but there is no other choice, he needs to continue with his life while mine is put on hold. ... ... ... 

i can't do much about the wound healing, just taking my vitamin C and eating my eggs for protein while trying not to fall, so i try to focus on my emotional health. A lot of meditation, writing about my journey in hopes of inspiring others and focusing on where i will be and what i will be able to do in the future. ... ... ... 

i will admit, with complete honesty, that i cry a lot and there are a lot of dark lonely moments. i cling to the brief times that a nurse comes over to change my bandages. i try not to annoy my amazing neighbor. And Devon can't keep being bothered by my pathetic requests. This is basically a lonely journey, that has shown me who i can truly call a friend. People who offer sincere support, beyond just a click of 'like' now and then. i don't ask for much, and i truly hate depending on others, but it is clear who is truly there during this time. i will forever embrace and cherish these few true friendships and celebrate their continued emotional support during this selfish time when i really need to lean on others ... which isn't easy for me. To those very few, i thank you so very much. And i truly feel so blessed for even the few blessing that i have. And how very honored i am to have such a wonderful loyal husband, who is my only family after my blood family and many past and present so-called friends have betrayed me. Bless you and thank you. ... ... ... 

The journey continues.