Friday, September 18, 2015

T E M P T A T I O N S

After i had opened the wound from my amputation, i was sent to an adult rehab for twenty days because they wanted to put me on a wound pump.  The pump stayed on for 24 hours, but i stayed at the rehab for 20 days.  The physical therapy was helpful and the daily egg salad sandwiches were delicious.  But because i shared a room, i had no privacy and was only getting about 4 hours sleep each night.

First thing in the morning i had a CNA bring me two cups of coffee with a cup of sweetener and creamer.   One morning, after a very sleepless night, he brought me regular sugar instead of sweetener.  i needed that coffee so so much, i was tempted to just add sugar.   But i waited until he wasn't busy so i could get sweetener for the coffee.   He felt bad about the mix up that he brought me 4 more cups of coffee with sweetener.

Devon worked late one night and i am still unable to prepare my own meals.  i was so tempted to order a pizza.  i see TV commercials for them all the time.   True i was hungry, my blood sugar was stable, so i just allowed my stomach to growl.   Focusing more on the exercises i am limited to do.   Waited until Devon came back home.  A day without food isn't going to kill me, i need to lose more weight anyway.  i just have to be very cautious about my blood sugar.

What i tell myself all the time now, is i have eaten such bad unhealthy foods all my life.  And look where it got me.   i'm not ready, ever, to have any further amputations and i don't want to shorten my life then i already have.

When i am able to walk again, these temptations will be tougher to fight ... but fight i must.   

Fight i will.

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