Friday, September 11, 2015

September 4, 2015

Worthless

After 23 days away from home (3 in the hospital and 20 in the assisted living rehab) i came home yesterday.  It was a struggle to get out of the Uber car, the slight upward incline of the driveway scared me.  Then i had to get up the four steps to the porch, i sat on my butt to get up each step and then lifted myself onto a chair.  Thank goodness i have been working on my upper body strength.

It felt so good to be in the comfort of home. Near SADDI's ashes.  Able to see Devon.  But a deeper depression began to set in.

i can't do anything on my own. Even going the few feet to the bathroom is an ordeal.  Devon isn't use to cooking and cleaning, but i can't do any of it.  All i could do is guide him.

Devon needs a new fone, but because of our limited income, i can't even do that for him.

i don't know when i'll be able to go back to work, but it has to happen soon to get us out from under this storm of bills.  i don't want to die and the only thing i leave behind are debts.

i've got to work harder to get healthy.  To get my new leg and get back to life.  A new life.

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