2:15am
i awoke and needed to go to the bathroom. While the stump wound continues to heal, i don't have my leg. So it's a struggle getting up. i sit on the arm of the sofa, waking up a bit more so my balance will be strong. i don't want to fall again.
Trying to be quiet with my walker, i made it to the bathroom and then back to the sofa to get more sleep. But after all the energy used just to get to the bathroom, i was awake. i laid there for over an hour trying to go back to sleep. Nothing.
So i just got up and got online.
Yesterday my nurse came over to change my band-aid and check the wound. She said it still wasn't closed enough for me to get my leg back. So it foiled the plans Devon and i had to go out for Thanksgiving. i have tickets for an event next week, i'm not even sure if i'll my leg by then.
My days are spent waking up, coffee, daytime TV, dinner and going to bed. More and more i am feeling worthless and depressed. Devon is not someone i can really share with and i don't have anyone in my life that i could tell about my emotional feelings. And even in my own head i don't want to hear myself whining. But at the same time, while laying there, trying to sleep, i'm crying. i honestly feel so hopeless and i am not confident if i even want to go on.
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