February 1, 2016

The frustration of waiting for the amputation wound to completely heal is overwhelming on my emotions. For over 6 months i have basically been confined downstairs in a 10x10 area of the house.

i've been wanting to do some cleaning upstairs, so i pulled myself up, on my butt, and used a chair to crawl around from room to room. i got a lot done, with so much more to do, but that will have to wait until i get my leg.

As i was finishing up and getting ready to come downstairs, feeling good about what i had accomplished, i got off the chair and started downstairs, but forgetting that i don't have a right leg. i stood up and quickly lost my balance, falling down about 5 steps. Hitting my head on the hand rail, bumping my left leg on the steps.

i sat there, laughing and crying, completely annoyed with this situation. i gathered my thoughts and continued scooting down the stairs on my butt. When i reached the bottom of the stairs, my sweat pants, that i have been living in for 6 months, had raised up on my leg and i noticed i had really cut up my left leg.

i don't do well looking at my own wounds. So i got onto my chair, scooting along across the floor to the bathroom. My leg was tender as i took a damp cloth to clean the wounds on my leg. Feeling a little dizzy and weak, i laid down and slept for a few hours. My head and leg throbbing.

When i woke up, my head felt better, but my leg was quite sore. Forced to hop on my left leg to get around, with the aide of my walker, was quite difficult and painful.

The next day, my leg still sore and the wound area quite red, i called my nurse and she came over to tend to it. Waiting for her, i was so worried she was going to send me to the hospital.

But thankfully, even though it is tender, i just ripped off the top layer of skin on large part of my leg. She bandaged me up and told me to stay downstairs ... which i will.

The wound on my right leg was affected, thank goodness, but still isn't ready for me to get my prosthetic.

The wound on my legs will heal, but i feel i am forever damaged emotionally and i am unsure how i will be able to recover ... if i can.